Thursday, June 29, 2006
Preparing for a Colonoscopy 101:
3pm: Take 4 laxatives by mouth
4pm- Begin drinking the GALLON of diarrhea- inducing, intestinal scraping BLECH. Tastes like flat lemon lime soda mixed with 2 cups of salt.
4:01 pm- Vomit
4:02pm- Cry
4:15 pm- Drink another 8oz of blech.
4:16 pm- KEPT IT DOWN!
4:30pm- Drink another 8oz of Blech
4:45pm- DIARRHEA!
5:00pm- 8 oz of Blech
5:01 pm- Vomit AND Diarrhea!
5:15 pm- Gagging before I even get the cup to my mouth
5;16 pm- VOMIT!
5:18pm- Call dad, crying.
6:00 pm- Try Again. Juan sings the theme song to "Rocky"
6:01pm- Officially decide that colonoscopy preparation is a Crime Against Humanity. All gastroenterologists shall be sent to the gallows.
6:02 DIARRHEA!
7:15pm- Beg Juan to devise a nasogastric tube from common household supplies so I no longer have to swallow the wretched concoction.
7:20pm- More gagging...DIARRHEA
And so the cycle continued until MIDNIGHT. I only drank half the container and I threw up half of that.
But I did it.
Then the doctor shoved a tube up my butt and said there was nothing wrong with my colon.
On to the next test.
Sigh
.
4pm- Begin drinking the GALLON of diarrhea- inducing, intestinal scraping BLECH. Tastes like flat lemon lime soda mixed with 2 cups of salt.
4:01 pm- Vomit
4:02pm- Cry
4:15 pm- Drink another 8oz of blech.
4:16 pm- KEPT IT DOWN!
4:30pm- Drink another 8oz of Blech
4:45pm- DIARRHEA!
5:00pm- 8 oz of Blech
5:01 pm- Vomit AND Diarrhea!
5:15 pm- Gagging before I even get the cup to my mouth
5;16 pm- VOMIT!
5:18pm- Call dad, crying.
6:00 pm- Try Again. Juan sings the theme song to "Rocky"
6:01pm- Officially decide that colonoscopy preparation is a Crime Against Humanity. All gastroenterologists shall be sent to the gallows.
6:02 DIARRHEA!
7:15pm- Beg Juan to devise a nasogastric tube from common household supplies so I no longer have to swallow the wretched concoction.
7:20pm- More gagging...DIARRHEA
And so the cycle continued until MIDNIGHT. I only drank half the container and I threw up half of that.
But I did it.
Then the doctor shoved a tube up my butt and said there was nothing wrong with my colon.
On to the next test.
Sigh
.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Procedure
Hi!
I'm back.
After the wedding in St. Lucia, we had to get ready for our hometown reception with family and friends. It was a kickass party with BBQ and beer. It took some work and time, so I haven't had any free time for blogging.
Sad.
Anyway, today I am fasting. Because tomorrow I have a colonsocopy. Dear God.
I am crabby because I am hungry. And because I am gonna have a tube shoved up my butt tomorrow morning.
Butt Tubes + Hungry=Bad Combination
I'm back.
After the wedding in St. Lucia, we had to get ready for our hometown reception with family and friends. It was a kickass party with BBQ and beer. It took some work and time, so I haven't had any free time for blogging.
Sad.
Anyway, today I am fasting. Because tomorrow I have a colonsocopy. Dear God.
I am crabby because I am hungry. And because I am gonna have a tube shoved up my butt tomorrow morning.
Butt Tubes + Hungry=Bad Combination
