The Squirrel Chronicles

My mom cleaned her garage this past weekend. She had a brand new pan called THE TURBOCOOKER (or something along those lines) which she pawned off on me . It is a fryer, steamer, baker and warmer ALL IN ONE. And it cooks everything ALL TOGETHER so your meal takes only MINUTES to complete! It even came with recipes.
I am a BAKER, not a COOKER (Juan is the cooker. And a baker. I don't like to admit it though).
I thought the TURBOCOOKER was an answer to my severe kitchen handicap.
I have tried several poultry recipes over the past few days.
Here is how dinner has gone recently at my house:

ME: Dinner's Ready!
Juan: Great. I'm hungry!
Me: Me too! Chew chew chew...... "BLECCHH!!! EW! DON'T EAT THAT! IT'S DISGUSTING!"
Juan: Looks at food curiously. Looks as me curiously as if my expression of disgust is a mere ruse. Chew chew chew....... EW! THAT's DISGUSTING!

Me:"Yes, I'd like to place an order for delivery. Sesame chicken please"

So much for saving money for the wedding by eating out less.

Here is an example of what one's hair may look like following a breakdown caused by wedding pressure and stress.

Today was a gorgeous sunny day.
We drove 2 hours to a state park. We sat in chairs on the lake. We read books (The Motorcycle Diaries by "Che"). Juan grilled sausage. We ate an entire angel food cake from Wegmans.
I "soaked up the sun" under cover of 30 SPF sunblock and a long sleeved shirt. (One must protect the delicate skin which has not seen the light of day in over 10 months) Juan finds it highly entertaining as I slather myself with sunblock and incessantly ask "Am I turning pink?"
He does not need to protect his hardy Puerto Rican skin from anything.
We stopped at a roadside stand and bought Butter & Sugar Corn. Mmmm......

If anyone suffers from the same random, unpredictable, sometimes explosive, sometimes "not budging" bowel schedule as I do....

Dried apricots help.

A lot.

Tonight i wnt to a party clled Zoo BRew. It is gettin drunk at the zoo with you friends.
After the drunk zoo part. juan and lyndsey took me to wendy;s and orderedme a frosty.
here i am tryingto ea t the frsoty.
juan took my pictiye.
There was much drinking and laughing at the zoo. There was also molestation of a stuffef polar bare. There is video of the molestation. Itinvolves a social worker and apolart bear and a behavioral specialist.The viseo is on Juan;s phoe. I think he wil use it for blakcmaill someday son.
gnight to all myinternetfanily
lverlioizyane

hjappy bitrthday karen.

Here is baby Payton. She is about a month old here (correct me if I am wrong, JMHS) and she is waving to the general public. She is making her internet debut!
I know Auntie Lizzie is a dumbass, sweetheart. I am sorry it took me so long to get you on my blog. I really do love you with all my heart. (Don't tell Uncle Juan., he will be jealous) And I can't wait to hold you, and rock you and make funny faces at you until you poop your diaper and mommy has to change you. And after that, I will sneak you into a bar and get you drunk when you are underage. And maybe take you to a Phish Reunion show and score you and your friends some weed.
LOVE YOU!

Well, it only took me two and a half months but I finally figured out how to upload pictured from my email to my blog. Well, actually, all I did was ask Juan. He is a computer genius.
Anyway, here is Jena and Jon as asson as Payton was born almost 3 months ago.
jena looks exhausted. She needs some coffee and chocolate after giving birth. And I thought PMS was bad.

This is me ordering lunch at the PMS Diner.
I will take all of it.
Make that a double order.
Thanks.

Today someone asked me about our wedding. I described what Juan and I imagine as a dessert reception with lots of drinking and dancing.
To which the person replied:

"I went to one of those once..... It wasn't very memorable"

HELLO??!!
Is anybody in there?

That's RUDE.

This is seriously the worst Menstrual Cycle I have experienced in my entire life. For the past 10 days I have participated in the following menstrual activities:
- Curling up in the fetal position and crying for three hours
- Snapping at Juan (Nobody should EVER snap at Juan because he is the most patient, loving and gentle man on earth)
- Making and eating large quantities of chocolate truffles
-Eating marshmallow fluff with a spoon
-Yelling at the computer internet banking screen
-Making sarcastic comments to coworkers under my breath
-Taking off-handed remarks personally
- Becoming angry and frustrated with people I usually love and can't wait to spend time with
-Swearing at The Firm Master Instructor as she leads me through a series of kick squats while smiling and stating "This is FUN!"

If this is what I have to look forward to for another 25 years, I would prefer a hysterectomy IMMEDIATELY.

Tom Cruise, you asshole.
Do not mess with the PMSing woman who is watching you on Oprah today.

Tom says "I am just a really romantic guy. I LOVE to be in relationships and I believe that women deserve to be treated like royalty. Communication and trust and taking care of others...it is just unparalleled for me"

Oh yes, Tom. You mean you love to be in relationships SO MUCH that you divorced your wife and left your family? Women deserve to be treated like princesses, but you leave your UBER GORGEOUS wife, to date the hottest of the hot women in show biz? It must be truly unparallelled for you to trust and communicate with a girl half your age (who, actually happens to be only 10 years older than your DAUGHTER).
That is the most fucking romantic thing EVER.

There's nothing like a self centered man to really get my hormones rolling.

This is my first springtime in my new apartment. It is always interesting to see what type of infestation will bless my new home as the season changes. With fall and winter came the squirrels. They were my housemates for 7 long months. Hanging out in my garbage can, building nests in the living room ceiling...and DYING in the bathroom.
Now that it is May and finally spring, I have ANTS. The first time I saw one, I got upset. I told Juan I was cursed with ants because I am a slob and do not Clorox the kitchen counters on a daily basis. He told me that is is Ant Season, and everyone has ants. He says there are even ants at his mom's house. That makes me feel much better, because Juan's mom (Minnie) is a CLEAN FREAK. (Somehow Juan knows that telling me EVERYONE has something is endlessly comforting to me. He tells me this about everything. Such as gingivitis, ants and smelly kitchen garbage cans)
I suppose I can't technically call the ants an infestation. I have seen 10 ants in the past week. One was a flying ant. I don't know if he counts.
There was an ant on the counter this morning. I tried to feed him some raw ground beef (I was making meatballs). He wanted nothing to do with it. So I killed it.
And now there is one scurrying on my curtain. I am going to leave it there because I do not want to squish it and have ant guts on my curtain.

Last night Juan and I went to see Sarah McLachlan.
sigh.
She is SO FREAKING GOOD!
I cried through most of it.
Juan had to get me napkins from the concession stand so I could blow my nose.

Generally, on a saturday bight I am awakened at 2 am by the loud stomping of the perons livbiing above me. This means she isstumblnghome dunk from the bars.
Tonight i am the stumblingdrubnk. My cosuin got me drink. I have not seen him in 20 year,s That makes me feel old becayse olny old people say "I havent seen you in 20 eyars'
I uess toay I am old.
He looks like tom cruise.
I had 5 drinks.
At the bar, I am sure i made manyembarrsaaig commnts which i will not remember tomororw.
It has been a long time since I had 5 drinks in 5 hurs.
I played pool and darts.
Some other ladyat the bar was snging a U2 song into her pool stck, She looked like a total asshole and I laughed at her.
alos, the DJ played MC Hammer's 2Legit2 qwit,
I thought this was funny because my cusin did all the old school finger movemets. Then I lookes around abd averyone else was doing old school finger movementd ad they looked ike asshole.s
I stopped doing finge rmovementd and finished my drink.
We also played Photo Hunt on those bar computers with all the games,
I love photo hunt. i love to play the Erotica Version because i am not distraceted by the women's fake and large oobs and i can find the mistakes pretty fast.
Excpet when i drink 5 drinks. Juan had to help me today,
We calledmy bestfriend catherine on the phone at 2 am to harass her. I am glad we did nt wake her up. She said she was already awake watching Kinsy Lohan on SNL. I dont remember what we talked abot. Juan made me hang up agter awhile,
We also called my mom. She told us not to come ove.r
now i have the hiccups.
I am makingt he assumptio n that i will not bep in timr for church tomorrow.
hiccup
That lady really looked stupid when she was singing a U2 song into he rpool st ick. Please do not sing into your pool sticks. It is embarrassing and runk people will blog about you. If I was your friend and you were singing ainto a pool stck, I would tell you tht you look dumb and i would make you stop.
gnight

Even though Charles and Camilla were married last month, I have a question.

What the hell is the last name of the Royal Family?

Everyone I ask laughs at me, and then they stop to think.

They don't know either.

So what is Camilla Parker-Bowles next hyphenated name?

This has been the longest, most PMS-y, most not nice week of the year.
To top it all off, I had a dentist appointment today. The hygenist yelled at me for not flossing everyday. (I LOATHE flossing) She made it sound like if I don't floss, I will contract a hideous flesh eating disease within seconds. I have gingivitis, people! Stay Away!
She must have known I am a sucker for guilt because I vowed myself all the way home that will floss religiously, everyday, in order to avoid this terrible gingivitis affliction. (Juan says everyone has gingivitis and it is the hygenist's job to make you feel guilty about it. I think he is right)
Anyway, as I am driving off the expressway onto the Exit Ramp, I hear a terrible crunch.
I think "FABULOUS! Gingivitis and a car accident within the same DAMN hour"
Some guy side- swiped me when he was trying to change lanes. I am fine. He was fine. And it was most importantly, NOT MY FAULT.
So I am going to spend the rest of the weekend in a blissfully drunken state. Starting Now.

The local media is hinting that President Bush is coming to our city, and will be speaking at a local high school. The same local high school where I take my water aerobics class. He will be there on the same night as water aerobics.
And I will be pissed if they cancel my class.

PMS, is IN FACT a verb.
As in: "Sure it's OK if I eat this extra handful of M&M's! I'm PMSing"
OR
"Leave me alone you screaming devil child! I am PMSing!"
AND
"NO I CANNOT WAIT FOUR MINUTES FOR MY BAG OF POPCORN TO FINISH POPPING! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M PMSING?"

Since I am PMSing this week, I decided to try emotional eating with healthy snacks such as light popcorn. After eating 2 bags in one afternoon, I am certainly not looking forward to my next bowel movement. Five cups of corn kernels scraping my colon for 2-3 days could possibly result in a National Security Alert.

I have terrible coping skills. This is entertaining to me, because part of my job is teaching children how to relax.
In times of high stress, my first reaction is to CRY. Crying pisses me off. Mostly because I can never be sure when the crying will finally stop. There are dishes to do, dammit. So I usually leak out a couple tears and then suck it up. Then I try to take deep breaths. In through my nose and out through my mouth. Over and over and over. This never works for more than 5 minutes. I always lose my focus on whatever it is that is stressing me out. I quit the deep breathing and move on to Calming Thoughts. I imagine sandy beaches and ocean waves. This technique NEVER works. My feelings of desperation increase as each subsequent technique fails. If I don't find something soon, I will surely come undone.
Sometimes I try Positive Thinking and try to pump myself up. That makes me feel dumb. I have even tried imagining all the bad feelings such as Fear, Anger and Loss, as small goblin shapes, and I pretend they are coming out of my stomach and running out the front door and out of my life. This is so freaking ridiculous that I generally resort to chocolate, cookies, candy and cake.
The experts say that EMOTIONAL EATING is not the answer.
I say... "Mmpphhmm, muunnhhmmpph, mlluhhppppmmmmm"
Sorry if you couldn't understand me because my mouth was full of Ben and Jerry's.

Today a four year old child told me to "Shoo".
He waved his hand at me and everything.
This was because we were playing Cootie and he wanted to be left alone to disassemble all previously assembled Cootie's in a most destructive manner.
This is a not a choice. All assembled Cootie's must remain assembled until it is time to clean up, until it is time to play again, or until Miss Elizabeth says Cootie is All Done. Cootie's are also not allowed to be banged against the floor in an attempt to remove antennae and legs. One must use two hands together in an orderly fashion.

ARE WE ALL CLEAR ON THAT?

Here are some more of my nonnie's quilts. I like the one on the left. If you look closely, the border is hand quilted in four straight lines. this is the detail I am going to ATTEMPT on my Denyse Schmidt type quilt when it is done. I cna't promise anything, because I usck at hand quilting. I need to learn how to machine quilt. It is cheating, but if I am going to keep up this hobby for a lifetime, I better start finding some shortcuts!

Juan suprised me today with a computer program for learning Spanish. It is so cool. It even has a lady in the upper right corner who is my teacher. She talks to me and everything. Hopefully this will help me not to look like such an asshole in front of Juan's family.
Time for Antiques Roadshow!

Old school TV. Especially old school Nickelodeon. I am trying to remember as many shows as possible...Salute Your Shorts, You Can't Do That on Television, Muppet Babies, Fraggle Rock, My Pet Monster...

Help me out here, people. I am trying to remember the name of the show with Dave Coulier as the host and he used to say "Cut... it.... Out" all the time. There was also a woman who screamed in a high pitched voice: "ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah"

But the one that is bugging the hell out of me was this show about a Gargoyle. It was NOT the Gargoyle cartoon. I think it was on Nickelodeon, but I could be wrong. It was about a family (they could have been English or Australian, I have no clue, but they did have an accent) and they had this stone gargoyle they kept in the yard. The gargoyle had moose-like antlers and a funny, friendly/menacing grin on it's face. Strange music used to play whenever the camera flashed to the gargoyle....

Anyway, anyone caring to remnisce about old school TV or who remembers my gargoyle TV show, please help!

Here is Tommy at the other end of the kite. He is the runner. Juan is the thrower.
No pictures of it twirling in the air because it never stayed there long enough to grab my camera!

On another note, when Juan and I pulled into the parking lot of the park, there was already a car parked in the spot next to us. We were in the front row of the lot, directly next to the children's playground. Approximately 10 feet away from the children's playground. In the car next to us, TEN FEET AWAY from the children's playground, was a guy and his girlfriend GOING AT IT. Their seats were reclined and everything. The hilarious part was that they were so into it, that the guy's feet accidentally bumped the horn. Everyone (even the chidren) looked over and the guy just popped his head out of the window, waved to the public and apologized.
Apparently, someone is an exhibitionist.

Today was a gorgeous day. Yes, it was cloudy, but it was so nice and warm that if the sun was shining, we would have been roasting. Me and Juan and my two brothers went to the park to fly their new stunt kites. It is fancy with TWO strings attached to it. We thought it was windy enough, but apparently stunt kites need up to 20 mph winds. We certainly didn't have that. So the afternoon mostly consisted of throwing the kite in the air and running. And then watching the kite crash into the ground. And swearing at it.
I had my own kite. It was a two dollar Dora the Explorer investment. Basically a garbage bag on a stick. It flew like a dream. I just had to stand there and watch it float into the heavens.

Oh dear. I have over 25 blogs on my favorites list. And I check them all everyday.
Is this my newest addiction?
I must do something. Juan is starting to get a complex. All I do is blog.

Today on the Stairmaster, I got a sweat stain on my chest. This was exciting and horrifying all at the same time:
'Yes! I am getting a fab workout!.......wait.........wait...... HEY! my BOOBS are sweating!!!

I suppose that boob sweat is better than butt sweat. Have you ever witnessed a guy with "Sweat -Hole"? The dreaded sweat forming on the gym shorts in a circular shape, directly over someone's ANUS?

It's bad.

I forgot to say:
SO LONG ANTHOMY FEDEROV!
You should have been gone 3 weeks ago when you sang "Climb every Mountain"

hahaha
I will serenade you with a farewell song from (ironically) the Sound of Music. And I will do it better than you ever could. And I am not singing, I am typing. It's stil better than you.

So long, farewell, alveeder-zang, adieu!
Adieu, adieu, to yuh and yuh and yuh!

dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee, dee dee dee dee dee dee..........

Funny question, exseno!
This is a question I do not have to ask my grandmother.

SHE KEEPS THEM ALL.
Folded up. Wherever she can find room to store them.
She even asks me that questions sometimes: "What am I going to do with all these quilts, Elizabeth?"
I reply: "Sell them Nonnie!"
She answers 'Oh no. I have sold too much of my stuff. These are for keeping"

She was horrified when I suggested I sell my own quilts to fund the wedding. Denyse Schmidt sells them for 2000 dollars. I can sell mine too. I will not make that suggestion to her again. She doesn't need another heart attack.

So, Nonnie keeps all her quilts in her house. Or gives them to my mom and my auntie. They really are very special and I am happy they are going to stay in the family.
BUT THEY JUST KEEP COMING!
She is the never ending quilt machine.

Here is a quilt that is one of my Nonnie's favorites.
she hand qulited each piece in the ditch. She is a dedicated quilter.

Hopefully my newest quilt will be up soon. all i have to do is set it and quilt it, but it seems like the last steps are taking longer than putting together the whole top.

By the way, I heart angrychicken.

Today I started Water Aerobics with catherine's mom Beverly and catherine's sister Mary. I wasn't sure what to expect EXACTLY, but I was pretty positive it had something to do with a water and aerobics.

What I DID NOT expect was a shower room full of senior citizen ladies. I also did not expect for one of them to be BUCK NAKED. Talkin up a storm to the rest of the class participants, too.

I would like to say that I am a mature adult and that I did not laugh. Unfortunately, I can't say that. Mary and I exploded into a fit of giggles once we were out of ear shot.

I did expect to participate in aerobic activity synchronized to music. I DID NOT expect for the music to consist of Piano Man and Rocky Mountain High. The most exciting the music got was a Madonna song. One of the early, tame Madonna songs. I realize that Mary and I were the only participants younger than 25, HOWEVER I think even seniors can benefit from a little Britney or Usher to get the heart rate movin!

I also expected for there to be a life guard present. I DID NOT expect the lifeguard to be doing his chemistry homework while on duty.

On a more positive note, the chlorine has left a pleasant, soft, chemical coating on my skin.
Off to bed!

There are some new rules at my gym. And I am the rule maker.

RULE #1
When you come to the gym, please be prepared to have a work out. Work Out can be defined as any one or all of the following:
a) Getting sweaty and red faced
b) Wearing sweat clothes resembling Monday Night TV Pajamas
c) Running so fast on the treadmill that it is impossible for you to discuss last night's episode of Desperate Housewives.

Work Out is NOT defined as ANY of the following:
a) Wearing trendy one shoulder lycra sports bras
b) Hanging around the juice bar flirting with counter guy
c) Spending 15 minutes in the locker room hairspraying your ponytail and applying mascara before spinning class.

RULE #2
As rulemaker of the gym, I respect the fact that you have small children. I respect it even more that you still GO to the gym with small children. However, Rulemaker no longer allows your FIVE YEAR OLD SON into the LADIES locker room where there are naked women. Although YOU may be comfortable exposing your own son to your own nude body, the rest of us in the locker room who are trying to change with some degree of modesty ARE NOT comfortable with your five year old son. Rulemaker cannot guarantee that your five year old son will not get an eyeful of my T&A while attempting to change into my sports bra and sweat pants. Yeah, try to explain THESE breasts to your five year old.

RULE #3
It is impolite and unacceptable to read Rulemaker's US Weekly magazine while you are on the elliptical machine next to me. I can SEE you looking over my shoulder at Jessica Simpson. Her abs are MY motivation. Please get your own magazine from the well stocked magazine rack to your left.

RULE #4
It is also rude and impolite to mount the Stair Master directly next to me when there is a row of SIX stairmasters which NOBODY is using. I prefer to sweat and breathe heavily in an isolated area, thank you.

If any of these rules go unheeded, consider yourself forewarned: There ARE "mystery farters" at the gym, and I AM ONE OF THEM.

I love you MOM! Even though your only request for Mother's Day was the be 'left alone to garden", I'm sorry, but I must bestow you with gifts and kisses. Thank you for your endless generousity and time, your enormous heart and all the ways you have taught me to be independent, loving and giving. Thank You for my three siblings who have taught me many more lessons I ever could have imagined. Even though they were mostly obnoxious and never listened to me when I was the babysitter.

Happy Mother's Day to Jena Marie. This is such a special occassion for you, because it is your very first Mother's Day. Jon and Payton are the luckiest family to have you. I know that your strength, your kindness and your infinite love will grace your family forever and be your ultimate gift to them. I am excited to watch you and your family grow and flourish, and I am waiting for a nephew. Payton needs a brother to antagonize her (and YOU!) for her formative years.

Happy Mother's Day to Erin, who continues to inspire me with her amazing courage and strength. You are a true example of perseverance and love to your sweet baby boy.

Happy Mother's Day to my Nonnie and my Auntie who have taught me everything from quilting to making really good pumpkin bread. Auntie introduced me to Kool and the Gang when I was five and she was the coolest thing alive. Nonnie makes me rice balls and teaches me to sew. She is trying to teach me to clean and be organized but I am realizing, that my sister got THAT gene. It may be an uphill battle, Nonnie!

Enjoy your day everyone!

Juan and I were reminiscing today about my old apartment, and the bugs that infested it. Juan thought they were Silverfish and I thought they were Centipedes. Since I didn't know what either one looked like, I decided to search for their images. Well, we found out that the bugs were centipedes, not silverfish. We also found this HIGHLY AMUSING ad.
The imagery it IMMEDIATELY conjures up in the brain is enough to make one feel enthusiastic about female circumcision.

Here is HALF the group of frenzied parents taking photos. I found them more entertaining than the prom dresses.

as we all know, the prom is a very formal occassion. You can see that Eileen takes this VERY seriously.

Today is the Senior Ball at my sister's high school. Here is my hottie-boom-ba-loddy sister with her boyfriend Matt. They are feeling disappointed here because the tux shop would not rent a hot pink coat to Matt.

Oh, the memories that came flooding back today! Jena in bright blue, Christy in light blue, Catherine and Becky were my dates. We sang Celine Dion's "All By Myself" into the flatware during the dancing portion. Oh yes, and the co-ed sleepover at Catherine's house after the party. Some guy jumped off the stairs and broke his nose. He was really pouty about it too.

Yay! Today i FINALLY figured out how to link all my friends! You can now click on the Sidebar Links and actually GO to somebody's webpage.
Good Lord, I can't believe I have a college education.

On a more sobering note, I have a confession to make. A woman I know recently got engaged. Oh, about two weeks ago or so. I am not particularly fond of this woman, but I see her everyday. She is a DRAMA QUEEN and likes A LOT of attention ALL THE TIME. For this reason, I simply CAN"T muster up the false enthusiasm it would take to congratulate her. I just don't have enough energy to pretend. So I say nothing. Is this rude? I am trying to decide. I KNOW that if I falsely congratulate her, she will KNOW I am faking it, because it is so hard for me to lie.
So is it ruder to be fake, or not say anything?

Also, GOODBYE SCOTT SAVOL! SO GLAD TO SEE YOU GO! Please try not to beat up your girlfriend over your lack of votes last night!!!

Well, it appears as if I have discovered how to add links to my sidebar which one can actually CLICK ON!!!! Woohoo!
It also appears as if once these links are clicked on, it takes one to Blogger Help.
maybe it is just my computer. please try it out and let me know what happens to YOU!
Thanks!!!

This is my MOST ADORABLE nephew to be. His name is Aniel. (pronounced- ON-yell). He does the CUTEST things at EVERY MOMENT. These include comments such as "TiTi Liz, don't touch Henry (the hamster), he will make you SNEEZE" as well as endearing gestures such as thoughtfully stating "Hmmm, Let me see...." while tapping the corner of his mouth with his forefinger. This happens every time he is asked a question. He looks as if he is racking his brain for the answer to world peace.
Aniel is the victim of the pre-posted HAMSTER SWITCH. His original hamster died in it's cage. Juan told him it was sick, and he would take it to the vet. Juan brought home a brand new hamster that didn't even have the same markings as the original hamster. Aniel did not notice and was delighted that the vet made Henry all better.

On another note, it appears that few people are interested in discussing poop. Now I know for future reference. Farts- OK. Poop- Nope.

Today I would like to open up a frank discussion about poop. I was at the gym, on the elliptical machine watching Oprah. Today's episode was about poop. Actually, it was about healthy lifestyles, and SOME of it was about poop. The doctor on Oprah said that a healthy looking poop should have an "S" shape OR a banana shape. He said that "pooping in pieces" could be a sign of an unhealthy bowel, and can lead to diverticulitis, appendicitis and hemorrhoids.
I don't know about you, but this makes me nervous. Juan says I should not blog about poop, but I am not saying anything about my OWN poop, so it is not embarrassing.
If you would like to comment about poop, your own or otherwise, please feel free to do so here. I will only listen. I will not judge.
PS- Thank you to Exseno who helped me figure out how to post links in my sidebar. Even though you can't click on them and go to the site. At least they are there. Yay Exseno!

I forgot to say that catherine's blog is
catherinefox.typepad.com

I really have to check out Exseno's tips for me on How To Blog. I need some major help. Especially on how to LINK items......

Oh yes, Eileen also got the 'Non-existent Allergy" gene. she is an animal lover and has everything form hedgehogs to hamsters as roomates. apparently their nocturnal habits do not bother her. Here is he rlatest acquisition. A bunny named Milo. Milo is super cool. Very soft and laid back. He has red eyes though, and that makes me a little nervous. after I pet him, I have to wash my hands ferociously before my head swells up with phlegm and pops.

Also, Catherine's post today reminds me of when was in 4th grade. Megnut and I were READERS too. Megnut would come over to "play", but we would actually just curl up in opposite corners of my bedroom, ignore eachother, and read. It was so freaking fun. Love you, nut!

My little sister has every good gene my family has to offer. She got the skinny gene, she got the cleaning gene, she also got the artistic and crafty gene. She has recently picked up knitting. Here is her first attempt at a scarf. Pretty damn good. She is even a quilter. She made an ENTIRE quilt BY HERSELF for her boyfriend for christmas. After 2 years, I still need weekly help from my Nonnie. Sigh. It is OK though. I am coming to terms with my genes. I have the 'Ample Bosom and Curvaceous Hips" gene. And if Nonnie has patience for me, then I have patience for me too.

I have literally spent the last three hours lost on the internet. I found fabulous new music and fellow quilters with the most amazing ideas and creativity. My mind is going to be spinning until I can get back into my Nonnie's sewing room this weekend.....I can hardly wait to finish my newest quilt so I can start a new one! OOh, so many ideas, so many potential surprises!
There is a sink full of dishes and dirty laundry on the floor, but I hardly care! Life is so freaking fun.

Two days ago, I committed an unforgivable act.

I burned a batch of brownies.

I was making a new low fat recipe in muffin tins instead of a bar pan. When I make brownies in a bar pan, I eat the entire pan in 2 hours. When I make brownies in a muffin tin, I have a much better idea of how many servings I am eating. I can usually guilt myself into stopping after 4 or 5 out of a dozen brownies are gone.

Anyway, I burned them. I checked after 15 minutes, and they were still gooey inside. 5 minutes later, they were burned. But I ate them anyway. I just covered them in frosting and they were fine.

When it comes to my family, I must ALWAYS ask myself the question: "What is the MOST obnoxious thing I can do RIGHT NOW?"
Here we are waiting for my brother to come home from Denmark. They changed the airport, and now family and friends must wait behind glass for their loved ones. I insisted we all press ourselves up against the glass as he walked up the concourse. For some reason, everyone did it. This is only half of us. We are armed with noisemakers and american flags and balloons.

Here is Tommy directly off the plane, hugging Vlada. He travelled for well over 12 hours. I can't count the exact amount of hours, because the time changes confuse me with the adding and subtracting.

While we were waiting for Tommy's baggage, me and my sister Eileen decided we had to go to the bathroom. She took a considerable amount of time, so I sat to wait in this chair in the bathroom. I believe it was the "Nursing Mother's" chair. Then I decided to take my own picture waiting in the Nursing Mother's Chair. I was not paying attention to what was around me, and Eileen surprised the hell out of me just as I was snapping the picture. I love her hands. Perfect timing and perfect positioning.