The Squirrel Chronicles

Here I am opening my pink rolling pin.

Nothin says lovin like a pink rubber rolling pin.

My sister is not quite so thrilled.

Here is Juan wearing a shipping box on his head.
He is cuter than Santa Claus!

It was a very nice holiday, with WAY too much food. My grandma brought double fudge brownies over, and that was the end of it for me.

I have been recovering today from a severe allergic reaction to Baby and Jolene. I love them desperately, but after spending the weekend at my mom's, my sinuses are revolting. They have been invaded by dog hair and they are PISSED.

One of the most exciting gifts i received was from Santa Juan, and it was the 40th Anniversary edition of The Sound of Music. Poor Juan has been watching the SIX HOURS of bonus features with me all afternoon. We're not even halfway through.

Another exciting object I acquired is a PINK RUBBER ROLLING PIN.
I can't wait to take Juan's picture while he's using THAT.

HAHAHA!
Look what my friend Lisa made me for Christmas!

It is currently displayed FRONT AND CENTER on my christmas tree.

These are my adorable third cousins Anna and Leah.
I do love them , and they are lovely little girls.
BUT WHY DO PEOPLE TAKE THEIR CHILDREN TO SEE SANTA IF THEY ARE ONLY GOING TO CRY?

I hereby pledge to leave the screaming children at home until they are 9, and can tell Santa that all they want for Christmas is a nice pair of holiday socks.

A couple weeks ago, I suggested we do a Cookie Exchange at work.
I did not know exactly what a Cookie Exchange entailed. I thought mostly, that everyone made a different kind of cookie and we got to bring home what we liked.

Turns out that is WRONG. You have to bake a dozen cookies for EACH PERSON in the cookie exchange.
So this weekend, I spent 6 hours making 12 dozen Amaretto Chocolate Chunk cookies.
It took me so long to bake them, largely in part to the fact that i only have one baking sheet, and also that I consumed the dough in mass quantity...

For dinner, I ate a salad with FRESH YELLOW ONIONS on top.

A lot of them.

And then I ate dark chocolate for dessert,

I am trying to run away from my own mouth, it smells so bad.

Yeah! I made it home safely through the Endless Mountain Region of PA. (It is ESPECIALLY endless with John Denver's christmas carols).
Juan and I were so happy to see eachother. I began recapping choice parts of the weeekend:

Me: My back hurts from sleeping on the foldout couch in the hotel room."

Juan: "Why didn't you just sleep in the bed?"

Me: Lisa slept in the bed.

Juan: It was a big bed. You could have slept there too.

Me: No, I could not have.

Juan: Why Not?

Me: Because them i would have farted all over her during the night. And that is a luxury i save for YOU.

Tomorrow morning I am off to Philadelphia for a weekend conference.
I am driving with a coworker, who told me:

"I have a CD player in my car, so we can listen to CD's. I have a bunch of christmas music and show tunes!"

Fab.
Six hours of the Music Man and Show Boat should make for an EXCITING beginning to the weekend.

Here are some of the cookies.

They are low fat, and actually incredibly enjoyable. The dough is hard to work with because there is so little butter in it, it has to be frozen to keep it's shape until ready to use.
The beautiful frosting job is accredited to Eileen. Except that one snowman in the back who has a blob of yellow frosting on his middle.
I got tired of frosting and just started plopping, and not spreading.
I have always dreamed of making those really beautiful xmas cookies with multi colored piping and silver decorations. But by the time the cookies are actually made, it is TOTALLY not worth it to frost 'em up pretty. Better to shove 'em in your mouth all warm and soft.

Today my sister, my sister's boyfriend, my mom, Baby and Jolene came over to make christmas cutout cookies.

What a pain in the ass. (the cookies, not my family)

Here is Jolene, making herself at home on my couch. She is getting to be such a big girl. She weighs 8 lbs now, and just wants to be snuggled. We are all willing to indulge her.

I just spent enough time to listem to the lyrics of the mr./ Grinch song. One of the lines says:
"He's got garlic in his soul."

Like it's a BAD thing!

For over a week now, I have been hearing a strange "thud" noise coming from the back of my car everytime I make a right or lefthand turn.
This upset me quite a bit, since the car is new to me, and I bought it with the clear expectation that it would NEVER have a maintenance problem, EVER.
I told Juan about it this afternoon and we hopped in the car for a ride, so he could diagnose the problem.
I am making left and right turns and saying to Juan:
"That's the sound! THUD! DID YOU HEAR IT?!? Oh my god, my axle is broken, isn't it? My wheel is going to fall off ANY SECOND, isn't it!!?"
Juan looks at me and calmly says:
"Babe? That sound is your snowbrush, rolling around on the floor in the backseat."

I believe that is what Oprah calls an "Ah-ha Moment"