The Squirrel Chronicles

Well, it was only a matter of time before I finally blogged about American Idol. I have been trying to respect the fact that not EVERYONE watches American Idol, although it is beyond my comprehension as to WHY the entire country is NOT watching Amercan Idol. It is the most entertaining show I have watched in years. I must give credit to Juan here, as he is the one who comforts me on a weekly basis when I am reduced to tears by someone's gut-wrenching rendition of The Lion Kings's "Circle of Life."
Anyway, the point of this post is to BITCH. This evening, I was ASSAULTED by Anthony Federov's version of "Climb Every Mountain" from the Sound of Music. It is of utmost importance to state here, that The Sound of Music is my most FAVORITE, most ADORED, most EXALTED musical of ALL TIME. As a child, I WORSHIPPED Julie Andrews in the movie, and I had a crush on Christopher Plummer. I know every word to every song. I know the choreography to the dances, and in fact, dance around my living room when I watch the movie. I sing each song with the characters as if I am a Broadway star performing my last live show. The Sound of Music is PART OF MY SOUL.
When A.I. came on, and Ryan Seacrest announced the Musical Theme, I said to Juan "If I was on American Idol, I would sing a song from Sound of Music. And I hope nobody butchers a song from MY musical." I guess I jinxed myself.
Anthony Federov....YOU SUCK!
You TOTALLY lost it, dude. You LOST IT.
I stood in front of the TV, my mouth wide open, speechless. I turned to Juan several times during the TORTUROUS 2 minute performance, and all I could do was squeak. Here is a teenage boy singing a song originally performed by an EIGHTY YEAR OLD NUN.
ANTHONY! What were you THINKING???
What type of mind altering drug were you experimenting with when you decided this was a good idea??
I am literally BANGING the keys as I type, I am so freaking mad.

I must admit that neither Juan or I have liked Anthony Federov since the time he performed a Jon Secada song in the earlier rounds. Juan was apalled that this tiny little white boy was attempting to impersonate a latin icon. Simon Cowell was TOTALLY right when he described Anthony as 'having as much latin flair as a polar bear". We found that immensely entertaining at my house.
So anyway, I just want to restate the major point of this post:
ANTHONY FEDEROV, YOU SUCK!

I am not the only person who thinks Anthony Federov sucks. Having spoken with Jena this evening, apparently she thinks Anthony federov sucks. So does Payton. and she is only 3 weeks old. ANTHONY FEDEROV-YOU SUCK SO BAD, EVEN A 3 WEEK OLD THINKS YOU SUCK!
Here are the reasons Jena and Payton think Anthony federov sucks:

#1- He is the BIGGEST DORK I have ever seen in my WHOLE LIFE
#2- He has NO fashion sense whatsoever. Absolutely NONE.
#3- He also has NO sex appeal. At all. Stop making pouty faces. They're gross.
#4- He must have a sick cult of GIANT DORKY MUSIC GEEKS who vote for him weekly to keep him in the competition this long.

As Simon put it today, "Anthony, that was horrendous."