Friday, June 03, 2005
How to make your child hate you
While in the grocery store with your 12 year old son, discuss loudly and exuberantly, the trials and tribulations of breast feeding with a customer carrying a newborn.
In particular, be sure to converse on how your then-newborn son (now 12 years old) simply REFUSED to take milk from your breast. Describe in vivid detail the various techniques with which you coaxed him to suckle your nipple for over 2 months.
If you would prefer for your child to DISOWN you, the discomfort-factor of the conversation may be increased exponentially by advising the stranger to ICE HER NIPPLE following a feeding.
In particular, be sure to converse on how your then-newborn son (now 12 years old) simply REFUSED to take milk from your breast. Describe in vivid detail the various techniques with which you coaxed him to suckle your nipple for over 2 months.
If you would prefer for your child to DISOWN you, the discomfort-factor of the conversation may be increased exponentially by advising the stranger to ICE HER NIPPLE following a feeding.
# posted by lizzyjane @ 8:33 PM 
