The Squirrel Chronicles

Today's post is from one of my favoritest friends. Another one of my best friends who lives far away from me (why was I the only one without the balls to move away from here??) ...Christy sent me this email the other day and I just HAVE to post parts of it, because she has never been MORE RIGHT. (Except when she told me to get the hell out of a terrible relationship. You were right then, too Christy. I LOVE YOU)
Anyway, here we go:

This morning I went to the gym before work... it was my first attempt
at starting my day out healthy. I got up at 5:45 and drove 30 minutes to
my gym and walked into the locker room to drop off my things only to be
greeted by overweight old naked ladies.... WHY? Why do they stand around and
have conversations while completely naked?.. WHY do they go in the whirl pool
completely naked and ruin it for the rest of us?... I understand that a
swim suit is only a thin layer of spandex separating me from the water in
the whirl pool.... but it is a very important piece of fabric!** I do not want
to see them walking around naked at 6:30 am (or at any other time for that
matter!), They have ruined the whirl pool for me.. now I can never go
in it!
YUCK!

**(I understand about the swim suit, Christy. At least it catches any stray pubes that may be loosed by the whirlpool jets)

I was also lifting this morning next to these two rather fit middle aged women. They were talking
about work, then this other woman walked by in a cute exercise outfit. The one lady stopped mid sentance and goes... " I can't believe it she wears that outfit all the time... what is wrong with her!"

I thought:
Maybe her washer is broken and she handwashes only a few exercise
outfits...maybe she wears that outfit every monday morning b/c she likes it and
that's the only time this nasty woman sees her... maybe she has lost a lot of
weight and only has this one outfit that she feels good in... what a bitch!

The other woman goes " I know and look at the back of her legs... ugghh."
I literally stopped and stared at them because I couldn't believe what I was
hearing. The second lady then says:
"Oh I payed you a compliment the other day. I was talking to Susan and she says to me: You know who hasn't changed a bit since highschool?... Mary something or other. Well I told her,
that's just because she's had work done, and it's not that impressive... I said that you (the nasty blonde lady) are really someone that hasn't changed a bit."

The blonde laughs and says "Awww thanks you are so sweet. I really don't know why people always talk about Mary so much... I mean So What that she was a model...it's not like she's THAT beautiful..."
The other lady says, " I know she was only in Glamour one time!"

If I had been clever enough or brave enough or rude enough I should have said:

" Wow that sucks! You looked like you were 45 in highschool?! That must have been really hard on you..."

Some people are so mean!!**

**(You are SO RIGHT.(again) Those women are the exact reason why I wear pants and Tshirts to the gym all the time. They can make fun of the bands I like, but they sure as hell won't get a glimpse of my spider veins! Stupid Bitches.)