Monday, July 11, 2005

 

Clinical Trials

Hypothesis: Carrying and bearing children causes bizarre and freakish occurrences within the female body. These may include: changes in nipple size, shape and color. Also chemical imbalances in the brain causing DEPRESSION. Sleep deprivation results in irritiability and general demonic possession of one's soul.

Experiment: Observations of people I knew before AND after pregnancy.

Results: After seeing one of Juan's relatives who just had a baby, I observed: A BEARD.
(On the mom, not the baby.)

Conclusion: Babies=Beards.

No Thanks.

Comments:
After my first born my when I was at home I was looking in the mirror trying to figure out what the "H" was so different about me. It was my eyes they had turned from a pretty clear blue to a dirty dish water green, and have been that way ever since. Not to mention how dull and drab my hair turned.
 
Did she always have one but perhaps bleached it, but couldn't while pregnant? If that was me, as soon as I got that kid out of me, off to Wegmans for some Sally Hansen!

-- nut
 
EWWW. There is still plucking. That will cause no harm to the baby. It hurts, but some things are worth the pain. She could wax too. cfs
 
Ok--- NO BEARD HERE, thank you very much. However, it is quite amazing what happens to your boobs, esp. if you are nursing. No comments about chemical imbalances but the sleep deprivation is a killer (Payton is now sleeping from 10:30 ish to 7 ish). You did fail to mention along with the bizarre stuff comes the joy of watching your baby giggle or smile, the cute little fat rolls on the legs, and the wonderful ability of babies to scream, poop and do whatever they want to do no matter where they are......
Really-- no beards here. Jena
 
You are hysterical.
 
Methinks that Jena doth protest too much. I demand a picture to prove her hairlessness.

-- nut
 
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