The Squirrel Chronicles

You know how some people always think they're sick, but they're not?

I'm one of those people that always thinks I am sick and I really AM sick.

Yesterday I went to the doctor because apparently, someone poured a bucketful of hydraulic acid down my throat. He said I either have strep throat or a virus. ANtibiotics haven't helped, so i am assuming it's the virus. Which means i just have to suffer. Sigh.

Today I went to see a specialist about my bowel function, since the IBS meds did NOTHING for my intestinal motility.
The doctor told me she would need to do a RECTAL EXAM.

A RECTAL EXAM!!!!!
WHAT??????
I wanted to shout at her "You keep your Rectal Examination Tool Thingy AWAY FROM MY RECTUM!"

She didn't though.

And then, later in the consultation, she said the singlemost HORRIFYING word in the english language. Eleven Letters that NEVER EVER EVER, should have been strung together to form a word with a definition.

She said:

COLONOSCOPY.

Referring that I SHOULD HAVE ONE.

Dear GOD.