Thursday, September 07, 2006
Buddy
A little over a year ago, we had to put Buddy to sleep. It was so very hard. Partly because he and I were alone when it happened, partly because I felt I was somehow betraying him.
I cried and cried for weeks and weeks.
Now the pain has dulled somewhat, but I still cry when I drive by the veterinarian's office where he died.
The feelings of betrayal have decreased, but not gone away completely. He was the love of my family's life (well, most of us anyway). I wouldn't do anything different, but it still weighs heavily on my heart.
Now that we have a house, Juan and I have been TALKING about getting a dog. Maybe, Possibly. Since I am SEVERELY allergic to anything that breathes, this has the be a careful and thoughtful choice.
Even if it doesn't happen, I figure it is a positive step towards healing, just to talk about it. For the past year I have been adamantly insisting that I will never have another dog because someday it will die....and that is too much pain to go through again.
So, we'll see!
I cried and cried for weeks and weeks.
Now the pain has dulled somewhat, but I still cry when I drive by the veterinarian's office where he died.
The feelings of betrayal have decreased, but not gone away completely. He was the love of my family's life (well, most of us anyway). I wouldn't do anything different, but it still weighs heavily on my heart.
Now that we have a house, Juan and I have been TALKING about getting a dog. Maybe, Possibly. Since I am SEVERELY allergic to anything that breathes, this has the be a careful and thoughtful choice.
Even if it doesn't happen, I figure it is a positive step towards healing, just to talk about it. For the past year I have been adamantly insisting that I will never have another dog because someday it will die....and that is too much pain to go through again.
So, we'll see!
# posted by lizzyjane @ 4:27 PM 
