The Squirrel Chronicles

Here is another type of dolly.
The cute, adorable, cuddly type.
The type with so much hair I can hardly believe it!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

I haven't been this afraid of a doll since Chuckie.

Introducing Baby.
Who is the mommy.
How ridiculous.
I called my mom 3 times every day for a week with new names for the dog. Poppy, Callie, Mimi, Leni, CoCo, Apple, Sean Preston....PLEASE!
ANYTHING but Baby!
Despite all my efforts, she is still Baby.
Which I suppose suits her since she likes to crawl up on Juan's chest, put her head on his shoulder and stretch out. Just like a baby.
Here she is in a rare quiet moment. The girl NEVER stops moving. Every picture I have of her is a blur of motion.
Her pink collar says "Princess".
How silly. But sweet.

I'm here at my mom's house babysitting the dogs!
My mom went shopping and was afraid that Jolene might fall down the stairs if left to her own devices.
MY PARENTS HAVE A PC.
I HAVE A MAC.
I see now that Blogger is not MAC friendly, because i do not have all of these super fun options on my MAC.
DO not tell Juan that I wrote that. He hates my MAC.
And I hate PC's.
Except that i can use cool colors and fonts!

So anyway, Baby is scrtaching incessantly at the door. She wants to get in because we are hiding the bunny in here and she likes to chase it. Dogs and bunnies do not mix. SOmeone will end up with a broken neck. And knowing my sister's rabbit, it will probably be BAby.

Here are some lovely blooms that Juan brought me last week. They brightened up all the rainy, cold weather.
Yesterday I had to stay home from work because I had the stomach flu. About 50% of the students on my caseload have had it, so it was really just a matter of time before it made the pilgrimmage into my intestines.

Sigh.

So yesterday was mostly lost to severe stomach cramps and lying limply on the bathroom floor. By the end of the night, I was feeling somewhat normal, and I made the most wonderful pumpkin bread loaf. I ventured to eat it this morning for breakfast. I toasted it and spread cinnamon maple butter on it.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..................

I finally figured out what they're doing up there in my ceiling!

http://www.acaseofcuriosities.com/anthropomorphic.html

It TOTALLY gets cuter!

DOES IT GET ANY CUTER THAN THIS?
I didn't think so.
Jolene is currently peeing on newspaper but doing Number 2 anywhere she pleases.
I don't live with her, so it's fine with me. Plus, how can you get mad at anything THIS CUTE?

If my life was a Shakespeare play, it would totally be Hamlet.

Yesterday I stepped out of the shower, reached up for my new Brazil Nut Body Butter, and saw THIS on the ceiling.

Fear filled my heart.

I was certain I had another decomposing squirrel in my bathroom.

OF COURSE, Juan saved the day. With a simple investigation (read: He used a wooden skewer to poke a hole through the ceiling tile), he discovered it was NOT a rotting rodent. In a thrilling use of pure wit, he deduced that if the wooden skewer was able to poke cleanly through the tile without encountering any resistance (read: bumping into a dead rodent body), then the DAMN SPOT was simply some leaking water from the upstairs apartment.
I have never been more grateful for a water leak.
In other news, Baby and Jolene are coming home tomorrow. My mother bought Baby a pink winter coat. I think that's going a little too far, I mean, pink will really get dirty in the winter.
Pictures and nonsense to follow.

My fabulous friend Catherine got me this fabulous cake plate to cheer me up because Buddy died.
I really really really love cake plates. A lot. There is an antique cake plate in my grandma's basement that I have been eyeing for over a year. I am waiting for a moment when she turns her back so I can wrest it under my T-shirt and stow it home, completely undetected.
So anyway, in honor of the fabulous cake plate, I made a Pineapple-Coconut-Banana Upside Down Cake this evening. Oh my god, it is so freaking good. And low fat. I used light margarine instead of butter for the topping, so the cake split a little on it's way out of the pan. In a momentary lapse of judgement, I photographed the side that fell off. I also didn't have any pineapple rings, so I had to use chunks. I really have to work on making my food actually look appetizing.

I am also celebrating because the strange rash which has been breaking out on every body part for the past 4 days is NOT a bunch of bug bites from horrible, flea like insects infesting my home. Neither is it from stress. Or the bird flu. And the doctor said "NO, IT IS NOT SEPTICEMIA EITHER!, WILL YOU PLEASE LET ME EXPLAIN THAT IT IS JUST A SEVERE ALLERGIC REACTION?!"
So me and my steiroids are off to eat some cake.

Here is another picture of the tiny puppy, Jolene. I have never seen a cocker spaniel puppy, but my mom says she looks just like one. Since a cocker spaniel was our first dog EVER, (I got her for christmas one year! Oh-the supreme joy of a puppy on christmas just cannot be duplicated) I believe my mom.

In other news, I went to a Carbon Leaf and Jasn Mraz show last night. I've loved Carbon Leaf forever, just never got around to one of their shows. They totally rocked it.
Jason Mraz was OK. He had his whole band with him, and I much prefer the laid back, acoustic, poetic Jason Mraz to the amped up, rockstar Jason Mraz. But that is just me being critical about things I know nothing about.

"Baby" and "Jolene"!

My mom's friend's are a foster family for rescued animals.
3 weeks ago, they rescued Baby (the mom) and her brand new litter of 4 puppies. Baby is a cockapoo who was living in a camper with 50 other dogs. She wasn't being fed and was eating the tablecloths and seat vinyl.
My mom, lover of all things severely abused and neglected, is thinking about adopting Baby and the smallest puppy of the litter. She keeps saying that she "isn't sure yet' about taking them home for good.
I am assuming that since she already named the puppy "Jolene", and bought a pink rhinestone studded collar for Baby, that they will be the newest additions to our family as soon as the puppies are weaned.
They are 5 weeks old, and Jolene is the tiniest. Her back legs slip out from behind her when she tries to run.
I was worried about meeting them today, not wanting to give up my love for Buddy. But it seems as if the heart just keeps finding enough love to go around.

I just found out that there IS a worse mistake than seeing the Corpse Bride.

It would be to have Tom Cruise's baby.
Oh Katie, you poor, poor, pitiable girl.

I hope you don't have any sofas in your uterus.

Last night I saw the Corpse Bride at the movies.

Please, I beg of you, do not repeat my mistake.

DOES ANYONE ELSE HATE EARBUDS?
Who was the inept jerk that invented earbuds?
THEY DO NOT WORK.
They are too big to fit inside my ears, they popped out 75 times during my 60 minute workout yesterday.
GOD, EARBUDS SUCK.

Six years ago I had surgery to remove some lymph nodes from my neck. While they docs were in there, they cut a nerve supplying sensation to my right ear, neck , jaw and scalp. As a result, I can't feel a damn thing on the right side of my head. I CAN'T FEEL IF THE EAR BUD IS IN THERE, and the only way i can tell it is gone, is when I can't hear the music in that ear anymore.

So I decide to problem solve, and go buy those ear buds that wrap around your ear.
THOSE DON"T WORK EITHER.
I can't feel if they are attached correctly around my ear, and it fell off 30 times today during my 30 minute workout.

I must resign myself to regular headphones with the foam covers which absorb sweat and collect germs.
dammit.

Hello, my name is Liz. Thank you for mounting the elliptical trainer IMMEDIATELY next to me. I must have an incredible work- out vibe that you find irresistible. ESPECIALLY since the entire row of TEN elliptical trainers is empty, except for me. I suppose it probably would have been RUDE of you to give me a little space.
You see, I have this new ipod, and it has all sorts of fabulous music on it, which motivates me to work out harder and faster than usual. I play it really loud to keep my ass in gear. My favorite band is Phish, and I know you probably have no concept of a "jam band", but it is loud and feverish, frenzied music. I will continue to play my music at an incredibly loud volume, whether or not you are next to me. Simply because it was YOUR choice to work out 3 inches from me.
So to wrap up this conversation, BEWARE, ye with little understanding of personal space and jam bands....I will FART in your general direction and turn up my ipod just to bug the living shit out of you.